I must be proactive!
My brain wants me to be depressed and thinking negative thoughts. I am still sick and I have to go back to work on Wens. That little voice tells me that I am going to lose my job. It tells me I am failing and should not be sick. It tells me I get sick to often and am not a good mother and wife. It talks endlessly. To make it worse that negative put downers speaks to me in my own voice. It talks so much that it wears on my emotions and my body. It even effects what I dream about sometimes making me wake and worry.
Well, I have another voice that speaks to me. When it does it speaks in my voice but, in a commanding voice that is confident. Today I am focusing on listening to that voice. It tells me that this sickness is a virus and although it has made things difficult it will pass away. It tells me I can not control what other people think but, that I will be okay regardless if a job does not understand or someone is not compassionate to my situation. It tells me yes, life is stressful and not everything goes your way , so what stand anyway and know things are meant to be and good is still in my life and to pay attention to that. It says do what you can and when you can not do anything then rest and be patient.
I like this voice even when it is hard to believe. I am listening to the stronger voice today. I must focus on it. (No I do not have a multiple personality disorder). I am speaking of self talk. For those who believe in a higher power it is also the struggle of good and evil or God and Devil. However you see it–we make choices and see our life in the perspective of whatever thoughts and feelings we let guide us. For me there is a negative hurt little girl feeling (with a negative talk) and a stronger authorative voice (that is more positive and demanding with a more forceful feeling (that is harder for me to listen to).
Anyway, I am keeping myself busy trying to think positive today and do what is good for myself and my family. I need to keep all other worries from invading my thoughts.
So….. onward with my chicken soup and water and sprite that my lovely husband (although unwell also) has provided for me while he works today. Clean a little on the kitchen then off to self medicate (naturally) and rest in bed with a good show or sleep whichever comes first.