I had a very bad dream this morning. It has haunted me all day. I am not a person who believes if you dream something it is going to happen but, yet I can not shake this dream today. I have been working very hard not to think about it.
The dream is not even rational because in it I was with a bunch of people and we were eating. The food was kind of weird. My son was walking on the side of the road and we were passing him in a car because where we were going was not that far. We were not going that fast.
I looked back to see if he was eating the food as he walked. I saw his plate fly out of his hands into the street and he ran to get it (loving food and we were so hungry) and a I saw his body go up in the air like a car hit him but, I could not see if that was what exactly happened. I started screaming oh my God over and over. I yelled for them to pull over. I got out and with my cousin I began walking back fast to get to where he was. It seemed to take forever. I saw him and he was crying and face and head and other parts of his body was bloody and swollen. He told me in his little kid voice that “A car hit me”. (in the dream he was very young like kindergarden or 1 or 2nd grade.) I asked where was the car? He told me across the street that the man was washing it off in the car wash. I was angry at what happened and that my family or whoever they were in the cars I was with did not rush with their car to him sooner and that no one had called an ambulance or taken him to the hospital. I felt guilty and sick that I let him walk alone.
This was all the dream was but, it was enough to have hurt me inside deeply for just a dream. I keep seeing my son hurt face and his little boy voice sounding confused that someone would hurt him and saying a car hit me and the sicking feeling that somehow I caused that pain and confusion for him.
I am not trying to be negative and depress people. I think instead I am saying I feel deeply for anyone who has had a child of their hurt or worse. I could not imagine your pain. For those who have not experienced that hug your children today and be grateful for them and be glad they are well. Make peace.
I am hoping by writing it will help take the painful feelings of this dream away and instead it will help someone pull their kids a little tighter and love a little harder and thank God they are alive and well. I pray and send love out to those who can not.